


and it starts just where the light exists

by hedwwig



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-29
Updated: 2014-09-29
Packaged: 2018-02-19 05:42:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2376881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hedwwig/pseuds/hedwwig
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And you have something to prove about universes in general.</p>
            </blockquote>





	and it starts just where the light exists

**Author's Note:**

> A study in what it takes to "be your own man." Hint- you don't have to leave.

You’re having what you think they call an out of body experience, or maybe you’ve just been kneeling too long and can’t quite feel your feet.  
Because you haven’t prayed in months, but if this doesn’t call for it, nothing does, nothing did, nothing will.  
And your hands have been shaking for six days, now.  
And the corners of your eyes are gritty.  
And you’re perfectly calm.

But you recognize yourself from across the room, and you see chapped lips and a wrinkled collar, and sore knees from too much worrying about something you can’t change.  
Because your bags have been waiting by the door for eight hours, and you only have three left.  
And the coolest guy you know has never been farther south than Pueblo.  
And you never told your mom you were leaving.  
And your dad wouldn’t care.

But the girl making popcorn forty feet from where your body rests does, and the boy another twenty feet from her hasn’t smiled since your hands started shaking.  
Because he can see things like that, just like he could see when the ground beneath you turned to fire.  
And every step you take towards the ocean puts you in mortal peril.  
And you don’t know when this game started.  
And you want it to stop.

But it’s four o’clock on a thursday afternoon, and you don’t know much, but you’re certain that’s not the right time for an existential crisis.  
Because the girl you used to be in love with is terrified, but the woman who replaced your mother deserves to be proud.  
And the center of your universe hasn’t smiled in six days.  
And you have something to prove about universes in general.  
And something inside your chest snaps.

You’re having what you think they call a lapse in judgement, or maybe the Holy Spirit has possessed your body and you really need to talk to Shirley.  
Because you find yourself standing, because if this isn’t worth it, nothing is, nothing was, nothing will be.  
And your hands have not yet stopped shaking.  
And the corners of your eyes are damp.  
And you’re beyond terrified.

But you’ve found your way to the living room, where the air smells like popcorn and is thick with the promise of “someday” and “we’ll miss you.”  
Because the girl who doesn’t know yet is looking at you with sad eyes, and offering you the seat beside her.  
And the boy who sees everything meets your gaze with a question.  
And you answer it silently, because you don’t need to talk.  
And he nods, turning back to the movie.

You’re having what you think they call an epiphany, or maybe you’re just back in your body and can feel everything properly again.  
Because you’re sitting next to the center of your universe, which you guess means you’re at the center too.  
And Annie took one look at his hand in yours, and her eyes were happy again.  
And you called Shirley, who told you she was proud.  
And you just looked at the clock.

The hour you had been dreading passed, twenty-three minutes ago.  
Your bags are back in your room.  
You whisper a defiant “take that” to the universe in general-

And the boy with his head on your shoulder

finally

smiles.


End file.
